Centre for Mediation

Separation or Divorce? - Mediation Can Help

What is Family Mediation?

If you are at the point of separation, or you are already separated or divorced, there may be issues causing you concern. These might include parenting issues and the best arrangements for your children, financial matters such as the home and other capital, child support and maintenance, or any other problem particular to your personal circumstances. Family Mediation offers the opportunity for parents, or (former) couples, to discuss any or all of these matters together, with the assistance of a mediator, to reach a jointly negotiated settlement.

Family Mediation is also appropriate in other family circumstances. For example, families with an adult dependant for whom decisions need to be taken or where there are disputes between adult siblings or between generations or when there are lesbian or gay family relationship issues.

Family Mediators can help you identify the issues, consider the available options and arrive at proposals that will meet individual needs and those of any children. Family Mediators are impartial and seek to be even handed. They will help each person to speak and to be heard. They will work to improve communication and reduce levels of conflict. They will help you to organise your discussions to enable you to reach your own decisions.

What is the Family Mediation Service?

The Family Mediation Service at the Institute of Family Therapy has Family Mediators who are specialists in children's issues and financial matters. Our professionally and extensively trained team includes family therapists and lawyers; all are members of the U K College of Family Mediators. We aim to offer the best in Family Mediation available in Britain at this time.

Do I have to use Family Mediation?

• Family Mediation is voluntary and nobody can be compelled to take part against his or her will. However, it is often very helpful in enabling people to reach their own negotiated settlements.
• The first appointment is always an introductory one so you can consider whether mediation is an appropriate way forward at this time.
• Joint appointments are never arranged without separate discussion with each person beforehand.
• If you have any concerns about taking part in mediation or are worried about meeting the other person, perhaps due to violence, harassment or intimidation, please ask to speak to the Family Mediation Service Manager before attending, who will ensure your concerns are addressed. Your safety is a priority.

Might I be eligible for help with mediation costs?

The Family Mediation Service holds a Legal Services Commission Franchise. If you are receiving certain benefits or your income falls below a specified level, you may be eligible for help with the cost of mediation. If you are eligible, the Legal Services Commission will meet your mediation costs in full and mediation will be free to you. Please ask if you wish to be assessed.

How much is mediation likely to cost?

The Family Mediation Service is part of the Institute of Family Therapy which is a registered charity. If you are not eligible for help with mediation costs, it is necessary for us to charge a fee based on a sliding scale according to income. The appropriate fee will be agreed with you at your first appointment. All except the very highest fees are subsidised.

Will our children be involved in mediation?

If you have children we can help you discuss how to talk with them to ascertain their views and help them to understand what is happening. We will gladly see your children in mediation, if you wish, and will discuss this with you. Children often have different concerns to their parents. It is important for them to be able to express these and think about the future. Parents are often better able to reassure and help their children once they know what their children are thinking.

If you can, it is best for your to make arrangements for someone else to look after your children whilst you attend your appointment, unless after discussion with you, the mediator has arranged an appointment for your children to be seen in mediation.

Is mediation confidential?

Discussions in Family Mediation are absolutely confidential. This confidentiality can only be breached if we consider there is a danger of violence or if children are at risk of serious harm.

How long does mediation take?

Mediation usually takes between two and six sessions - depending on the issues you wish to resolve and the degree of complexity. The first session is an introductory session during which you can decide whether you think mediation will assist you, or whether another course of action would be more appropriate.

Will I need a solicitor?

The Mediator can record your decisions and summarise them in a written Memorandum of Understanding at your joint request. This is not binding, but can form the basis of a legal agreement. In mediation you do your own negotiation, removing the need for lengthy solicitor negotiation and legal action, but you each still need a solicitor to advise you and to make any joint proposals legally binding. Mediators do not at any time give legal advice.

If you anticipate difficulty using mediation, either because you do not speak English well or because you have a disability, please let us know so we can arrange an interpreter, or ensure easy access to the building for you. For further information, or to make an appointment, please contact the Family Mediation Service at the Institute of Family Therapy.